As Trials match intros revealed enemy loadouts this weekend, I would repeat the wish: “Please be jumpers.” Sweaty meta guns like Steady Hand and Felwinter’s Lie? Hard luck. But weird weapon choices? Please be jumpers. You’d know for certain within the first ten seconds, if you saw three death notifications. Going by what I saw and reports from other players, it was happening a fair bit. Trials Of Osiris is a 3v3 mode running only on weekends. The grand prize is for winning seven matches without a loss, though hitting three, five, and seven wins on your punchard gets you some of the fancy exclusive Trials loot too. Lose three, and you need to start your card over. But if you’re not great at PvP, you can get the three-win prize through a bounty progressed simply by playing - including 10% progress even if you lose all five rounds of a match. That prize this week was the first opportunity to get a decent new pulse rifle, the Messenger, and you see where this is going. Not wanting to endure the tedium of Trials, or even risk encountering it, many players threw every match, and threw hard. Five matches per round, for ten matches - taking maybe an hour. In a way, I envy them for getting through it so quickly, while I got my teeth kicked in at excruciating length and likewise only have one Messenger to show for it. I want to like Trials. I’m not amazing at PvP but I play a fair bit and dabble in ranked Competitive. I appreciate serious play and a challenge. And while I don’t think I’ll ever go flawless, I would play Trials most weekends if it wasn’t such a stingy misery. It’s the combation of: incetivising using the same overpowered gear; matchmaking which puts scrubs like me against people who’ve already gone flawless dozens of times only a fortnight into the season; and extreme loot stinginess. The height of Trials rudeness is offering extra prizes in exchange for tokens earned through wins and bounties, but only giving tokens in minute quantities then deleting unusued ones at the end of the weekend. It feels punitive. No wonder so many Guardians would sooner die than actually play Trials.
